Saying Goodbye

IMG_8677

Delilah Jane

 

Today we let you go. I remember when you came into our lives. You & your twin sister. She passed away soon after you guys arrived. You were a queen from the start. “Queen Bitch” as I called you. When you were young, you were a wild thing playing with the others. As you grew up you became lazy. Acting all mature & too good to play with a toy. My brother learned if he said “You want to climb a tree” you would perk your ears up & tilt your head to the side because you heard “You want a treat.” Haha. 

You were always by mom’s side. One summer I spent all my time at home with you, & I liked to think that you were actually my girl. You were the dog that got to stay in the house full-time. Spoiled. Rotten. After the split, mom took care of you like the spoiled dog you were. I mean, yes, when I came to take care of you when she was out you definitely got your fair share of treats & canned food. You were good at keeping secrets & pawing me when I cried. And you definitely hated taking selfies with me. Always mean mugging.

I didn’t get to say goodbye. I don’t think that I would have been able to, so maybe you did me a favor. We knew the time was coming, but I’m glad you left on your own terms.

Thank you so much for being a part of my life. Mainly, just being my main bitch. I love you & say hi to Dee Dee for me!

 

XOXO

Take A Leap

Do you ever want so bad to do something, but you’re scared. Yeah, I’ve been struggling with that. Today, though, I made my move. I decided that I needed to do it for me. My happiness. My well being. And I’m proud. Scared, but proud.

Going back & forth. Finally, I made my decision & put in my two weeks at work. I knew that I had the balls to do it today, but probably not tomorrow. I haven’t been happy for awhile. The time has come. Why not open a new chapter? Why not do something that I’ve been wanting. Geez, it took everything for me to do it. I love my job. I really do, but things just aren’t right for me or my body. With my back & hips, it’s just not worth it. I need to do this to protect my body, & not wear it down more. I took one step getting a yoga mat. This isn’t a step. It’s a leap. I know it’s the right thing to do for me, so it’s how I’m able to be confident and keep my head high. 

It’s something I’m learning, but if you are going to do something, do it for yourself. 

XOXO

Smile, it’s Friday!

It’s the weekend!! Today was long, but it’s still not over. What gets me through Fridays is knowing I have the next 2 days off. One day for cleaning & getting things done. The second day for relaxing & having fun. Now, I have to go in to work tomorrow at the ass crack of dawn. Definitely not how I wanted to start my Saturday, but it’ll only be for a couple hours. I can deal with that.

I was going to start my weekend by taking a little nap. My body was super excited, but my mind said ehh I don’t think so, Amanda. My friend’s going away party is tonight. Haven’t seen him in a bit, but this will be my last chance for awhile as he goes off to Florida.

Other than that, no plans for the weekend. I like it like that. No pressure. It’s how I feel like weekends should be. Hubby & I will come up with something to do when we feel like venturing out into the world. Whether it’s something fun or just going out to eat. Honestly, if we decided to be lazy all weekend and just binge whatever show we’ve started watching I’d be great with that too.

My yoga mat came in this afternoon. Yay! And, of course, it’s purple. I’m glad I’m finally getting back into that. It’s been quite awhile. Thank goodness for Amazon Prime because if I waited too long, then the urge of doing yoga again might have gone away.

Hope all, as well as myself, has a fantastic weekend!

     XOXO

The Journey to Accomplish a Goal

As a couple, we set goals. Money is something that got in the way with one of our goals, but we got past it. It took a lot of effort, but the end result made the journey worth it. When Tyler and I got married, we were just scraping by. It was definitely a struggle, but we needed to figure out how to improve our way of living. We started an expenses spreadsheet. It showed how much we both brought in every month compared to the amount we were spending on bills and miscellaneous things.

We had a goal: Buy a house. Together we agreed we needed to work more and push for those 40 hour weeks, and also get that overtime where we could. We started couponing and eating in more. I enjoy cooking so that was a win for me. Unfortunately, that meant I had to cut back on my shopping sprees. There were also some cut backs in bills that had to be done. For instance, not turning on the air & heat so much in the summer & winter. All in all, sacrifices needed to & did happen in order for us to one day reach our goal. And in the end, we reached our dollar amount goal we set for ourselves. That began our house hunting & we soon found our perfect home. Once the loan process began, it started to get intense since we had to watch our expenses even more.

We originally were going to receive 100% financing, but that went away with a quick phone call. They said we had been making too much money. How ironic is it that we worked so hard to be able to be at a place to purchase a house that we then worked too much to receive help for it.

With buying a house comes other expenses. Well, you need a fridge, right? Ka-ching! How about a washer & dryer? Ka-ching! And the purchases kept going. We had fights about what to buy, how much to spend, and when to actually buy. At first, I was not worried. Here we are 4 months later & still have all those expenses plus more. Luckily the largest one has 1 more payment.

We’ve had the ‘second jobs’ conversation a few times. Right now we are at the point of “Okay this number keeps dropping, so now what?” We are both nervous, so the second job option is drawing near. It is not something that either one of us want, but we do not want to go back to the place where we first began. We want that safety. So here we are with a ‘what are our options’ conversation. We have ideas, but so far nothing concrete. 

     XOXO