It’s crazy how much your life can change in the span of a year.
As I turn 25 tomorrow, I am thinking back to the past year. What has happened, where I am, and planning my next steps. I am currently in the final stage of my divorce, living with a friend, and am officially relying on just me. With all going on in my personal life, I have been keeping up and moving forward at work and taking on more responsibility. I have done probably way too much thinking over the months. All things being between grieving the loss of the life I had, figuring out how to do things, and relearning who I am.
It was my choice for everything and I will never regret that. I feel like I’ve done the right things at the right times no matter what anyone else thinks. I know how I wanted to handle it. Everything is ending on a good note. The choices that I have and am making recently are what I feel is best for me. Because that’s what I am doing, putting me and what I want first. Finally. And it feels amazing.
Don’t get me wrong, there has been many, many tears and lots of anger, but in the end I know it will be okay. Especially now, the worst is over. Now all I have to do is ride out the rest until I get myself back on my feet. I bombarded myself with too much too fast in the beginning trying to speed everything up as fast as possible, but it was just way too much for me to handle. It was not doing anyone any good. I used to cry everyday being scared & unsure of what to do or how to be. I was a mess. Like legit. I did good to hold myself together for the span of my work shift. Thank goodness I had people here for me throughout everything. Especially my Pharm Fam. They accepted my work breakdowns. They provided shoulders to cry on & people to vent to and get advice from. One of them was even willing to take me in and let me stay with them. And that’s where I’ve been the past couple months & intend to stay until I get my bearings straight with money.
Some days are still hard the more thinking that I do. I think back on the past & choices. I get real in my head about it all until it drives me crazy. It feels like I really am in full control of my life again. I can actually say that I truly am happy. It has been a long time. I am very positive & determined to make my life me again.