Broken Promises

Three years ago we promised each other a lot of things. The main thing we promised was forever & always. How am I supposed to keep my promise of forever if you can’t keep your promises of the other things.

How dare you. I am always here no matter what I’m doing or where I am. You never talked to me about it. You never gave me a chance. They  “understand” is a bullshit reason. You admit to looking for the attention. Because why? Because mine isn’t enough. You don’t want it.

Again. This has happened again. The first time I accepted your apology, but asked for you to be more open. I don’t care if you have friends that are girls, but the fact that they remain hidden until I accidentally find out, no sir. It’s not that you talk to other girls. It’s really not. It is the conversations you have with them. There are friendly ones and non-friendly ones. Then there are the ones where you complain about your wife, birth control and condoms, and ones that you talk and vent about wanting to die. You have a great life and need to stop pitying yourself.  With that, I guess the cuts on your arm are not from the dog. Another lie. I don’t even need to go into why the other two topics are a no-go.

Does all this mean you don’t trust me? Or that you don’t want to talk to me? I mean for goodness sake I am your wife and supposed to be your person. I guess that means you want more than me. Is one not enough? Also, is there more that I don’t know about? 

I go through the pros and cons of being with you. I’m struggling. Having them written out in front of me is a sad, sad thing. It’s all facts, no feelings. One outweighs the other by a lot. All I’m doing is staring at it so far.

I’ve asked you away for a few days, so that I can think clear minded. It’s hard to think so in depth of everything with you sitting in the same room or even the same house. I needed you to leave. Give me time and space. You did as I asked except for the whole not texting thing. You broke it last night and again this morning. You can’t even be respectful for the things that I ask. You didn’t even make it 12 hours. You are very, very good at texting the right things to say, but are very bad at doing the said things.

I’m tired of waiting. I’m done fighting for you and your attention. I’m sorry that you think that I’m not here for you in every way that I really am.

I don’t think there are any promises anymore. 

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